When I met my husband, 28 years ago, I thought I had met my soul mate. I fell in love with his humor, his creativity, his fun spirit, his intelligence, his can-do attitude and his passion. He was everything I was looking for.
Then we married, started a few businesses together and had children. Along with the joys, came the stresses and challenges of balancing and sustaining family and work life.
As time passed, it became clear that I wasn’t with my soul mate at all. I longed for the days when we were happy and carefree, laughing together and loving each other freely.
Our mutual dissatisfaction persisted to the point where it became evident that we had to make a choice. We chose each other.
Along the return to a shared life of deep love, caring and commitment, many things became clear. The most important lesson I learned was that if I wanted my husband to feel like my soul mate again, I had to be a soul mate to him.
Here’s what I discovered:
The greatest teaching for me has been the acceptance that life isn’t always seemingly fair. I learned to give from my heart without expecting something equal in return.
It became clear to me that I had to choose in every moment whether I wanted to relate to my husband from a place of emptiness and neediness or from my heart and soul, which is full in every moment.
I also had the choice to look at him and see his best intentions to do the right thing, while letting go of judgment and criticism.
When I finally realized that the one I can truly rely on is my own inner strength, more than ever I appreciated the gift of being able to share my life with a beautiful, flawed and perfect soul mate—my husband.