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4 Ways To Handle A Dating Drought

By Heather Redwood
Updated September 14, 2015

Unlike a lot of other things, you can’t just hit an “ON” button or click “Buy” to find partners when you’re experiencing a dry spell in your dating life. While it may seem like it’s never going to end and you’re getting a bit frustrated, a quiet dating front can be the perfect opportunity to explore yourself and figure out exactly what you’re looking for in a relationship.

Here are four ways to handle your dating drought and get something other than new hobbies out of it!

Have Some Quiet Time

A bit of silence goes a long way, especially since we live in a world where sound is pretty constant. You can use silence to reconnect with yourself and acknowledge emotions you may be trying to avoid experiencing, such as loneliness.

Plan a small day trip on your own in a quiet place or just spend a day in a calm spot in your home. Turn off all your electronics, so no phones, internet or other distractions. If you’re having a hard time sticking to it, work twice as much to stick to your silence time. Resistance is usually a sign there is something you’re trying to ignore, and you need to use your quiet time to face and process whatever that is.

Go All In

“Honesty is the best policy” isn’t just for your dealings with others, and being honest with yourself is an absolute must if you want to solve the mystery of what’s holding you back in terms of your dating life.

While it’s not necessarily easy, once you’ve taken an honest look at your behavior and dating and relationship patterns, you can finally tackle any self-created obstacles. Some of your obstacles may be from subconscious behavior, so you’ll have to dig deep and think about your past here.

Ask yourself some tough questions, such as “Why am I single?”, “What other areas of my life are missing commitment?”, and “What am I protecting myself from?” to get to the root of your current situation. Give completely truthful answers; don’t hold back. Work any issues you find to help you move forward in your romantic life.

Clarify Your Ideal Relationship

One trap that’s easy to fall into is the pursuit of the ideal partner. Rather than focusing on what you want from a relationship, you get stuck on what you want in a partner. This approach can hold you back and even land you in a relationship that’s not right for you just because your partner ticks all your preferred qualities boxes.

Decide what you want in a partnership. This doesn’t mean you have to settle, just that you’re looking more for the right partnership than the unicorn that is the “perfect” partner. By clarifying the type of relationship you want, as opposed to the type of partner, you’ll be open to new dating experiences and may be able to avoid some relationships that aren’t worth your time or what you really want.

Pin It Allow Yourself To Connect

Once you’ve decided what your ideal relationship is, spend some time connecting yourself to that feeling. Not only will that help take off the edge of any loneliness you may be dealing with, but it will also help you recognize when you’re experiencing that feeling down the road.

Don’t let yourself get bogged down by doubt or feelings of unworthiness. Just like rain always comes at the end of a drought, your dating dry spell won’t last forever, and you’ll come out of it more open and ready to find the right relationship for you!

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Katherine Hurst
By Heather Redwood
Heather Redwood graduated from Penn State University with a Speech Communication degree, and specializes in communication therapy. She has logged over 15,000 hours in one-to-one sessions with men and women, helping them to cope with codependency issues and love and sex addiction. She also specializes in online dating and marriage counselling.

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